The Duples Funeral Home was a large white building. The paint was starting to peel and the lawn was yellowing in patches. A statue of a winged angel with a trumpet was balanced on a pedestal beside the front door.

Was the angel supposed to be Gabriel? I wondered dully. Quatre would have hated this place. He always liked things neat and well kept.

Heero’s grasp tightened on my elbow. “You can change your mind.”

I shook my head and quickened my pace up the walk. Just get it over with, I told myself.

Find out they’d made a huge mistake and then get out of there.

“You’ve gone too far, Heero.” A shorter, blonde-haired lady stepped out from an alcove. “Do you want them to get him?”

“It’s your job to see that they don’t, Relena. Have you checked out the funeral home?”

“Yes. Now get him out of here.”

Heero glanced at the row of houses across the street. “What about those?”

Relena nodded curtly. “We went through them. No snipers. They’ll probably call their congressman. Why would the president come here?”

Heero’s gaze went beyond her to the foyer. “Where is he?”

“First room on the left.” Relena’s glance moved to me. “It’s a waste of time Mr. Maxwell. You don’t want to do this. It’s a closed casket.”

“Why?”

Relena shifted uneasily. “He died in the hills and was buried there. It was hot and conditions weren’t conducive to—”

“You’re saying Dekim dug up his body and sent him here?” Callous and hideous. As hideous as digging a hole and tossing a person in it in the first place.

But it hadn’t happened to Quatre. It was someone else in that room.

I opened the door and went inside. First room on the left. An oak casket in the center. Candles burning at either end. No flowers. Where were the flowers?

My chest was constricting. I couldn’t breathe.

“Duo.” Heero was beside me.

I moistened my lips. “Open it.”

“Iie.”

“Open it, Heero.”

“You heard Relena. You don’t want to see—”

“I have to see. I have to know. Open it, or I’ll do it myself.”

He muttered a curse and stepped forward. He threw open the lid of the coffin.

I would just take one look and I would know they were wrong.

Just one look and it would be over.

Shit.

Heero had to catch me when I fell.

***************

“Quatre.”

“Hush.” Heero was carrying me, climbing stairs, I realized vaguely. The stairs leading to my apartment. How had we gotten here? “Don’t think. Just try to sleep.”

“I didn’t believe—”

“I know.”

“Was he in pain?”

“Not for long.”

“They just threw him in the ground Heero. They just tossed him away.” My fingers were digging into his shoulders. “No one deserves— Quatre was so bright and warm and— I didn’t say good-bye.”

“He would have understood.”

“But I should have—”

“Please stop crying.”

Was I crying? I couldn’t feel the tears. My entire body ached like an open wound. “Gomen.”

“I didn’t mean—” He sat down in a chair and held me in his lap. “Cry. Hit me. Do whatever you like. Just don’t—” He was rocking me back and forth. “Don’t hurt like this.”

“I can’t help it. He’s… dead. Quatre’s dead.” The truth was tearing me apart. Quatre was lying in that shiny oak box at the funeral home. Quatre would never laugh or smile or boss me around ever.

“It will be all right.” Heero’s low voice was agonized. “It will get better. I promise, it’ll all get better.”

How could it get better?

Quatre was dead.

***************

Heero carefully put Duo down on the bed and drew the coverlet over him. He hoped he wouldn’t wake up right away. It had taken hours for him to fall asleep. He left his bedroom and gently closed the door.

Heero dropped into an easy chair and leaned his head back. He never wanted to go through anything like that again. He had felt his pain and his loss and the responsibility and the guilt. Oh God yes the guilt.

He had to stop thinking about it. It was over. He had to find a way to protect Duo, to keep him from suffering ever again.

Yeah, sure.

Heero’s gaze wandered around the small living room of the apartment. The furniture was simple and clean lined. The photographs on the wall were striking: one little black girl with enormous wistful eyes, the Somalian bandit he had mentioned to Duo. On the end table were more personal pictures: a younger Quatre in shorts and t-shirt on a swing beside the river. Quatre in a tuxedo standing beside a taller man also in a tuxedo, Quatre and a little red-haired girl with bold, curious eyes. All Quatre.

He glanced away to the Persian rug covering the oak floor and then to the plants that filled the room.

Plants.

He touched the African violets on the table beside him. Real.

He reached for the telephone and dialed Relena.

“You told me this apartment was safe,” he said when Relena answered. “Duo is out of the country most of the time. Who has a key to come in and water his plants?”

“It is safe. His landlord comes in twice a week. He hasn’t been approached by anyone. Someone does know their job besides you, Heero.”

“Hn.”

“How is he?”

“How do you think he is?”

“I told you that you shouldn’t have brought him here.”

“No sign of Dekim?”

“Not yet. But you know he has someone here.”

Yes, he knew it. Dekim would have had a man at the funeral home and he knew exactly where Duo was right now. “Did you check on the air freight service?”

“They were just doing their job. Maybe a little too willing to accept forged papers, but that’s all.” Relena paused. “We need to talk.”

“Later. I’m not leaving him.”

“What about the blood test?”

“We think its positive. I’m calling Zechs Marquise to verify the results on the new sample.”

“Positive?” Relena swore softly. “And you still let him come here? Are you nuts?”

“Probably.” He changed the subject. “Has Wu checked in?”

“Not since yesterday, but he’s on his way here. When are you taking him to the safe house?”

“Why don’t you worry about finding that counterfeiting center and lab in Iowa and let me worry about Duo?”

“Because you aren’t worrying enough about him. You’re going to get him killed and then where will we be if Dekim moves ahead with—”

“I’ll call you back.” Heero hung up the phone. He didn’t need Relena to tell him how reckless he was acting. He dialed Zechs Marquise in Atlanta.

“It’s a definite.” Zechs’ excited words tumbled over one another. “We can work with it, but we need more, much more.”

“What do you want me to do? Drain his veins?”

“No, no, of course not. But it wouldn’t hurt to get me another sample right away.”

“I’ll get it when I can.”

“Right away.”

“He just saw the person close enough to him to be his brother dead in a coffin.”

“Oh.” Zechs paused. “Too bad, But maybe you could explain to him how important it is to—”

“Sayonara, Zechs.”

“Matte. He’s upset?”

“Baka. Of course he’s upset.”

“Don’t give him a sedative. It would compromise the results of the next batch that you—”

“I’ll give him whatever he needs. If I have to knock him out for the next twenty-four hours, I’ll do it.”

“You don’t need to get so temperamental. It’s your ball game. Just send me something as soon as you can.”

Heero slid the phone back into his pocket.

It’s your ball game.

Yes, it was his game and he was being permitted to call the shots. A dubious honor given him only because nobody else wanted to stick their neck out. Too many things could go wrong. Hell, too many things had already gone wrong. So far one thing in the entire unholy mess had gone right, Duo’s immunity factor.

So he was supposed to treat Duo as if he were a lab animal. To hell with what he felt or thought, to hell with individual freedom, think of the public good. Use him.

It made him sick. It was a nightmare that had gone on too long.

He was afraid that he couldn’t do it any more.

And he was more afraid… that he could.

**************

“He took the bait?” Dekim felt a rush of pleasure. “He’s there?”

“He collapsed at the funeral home,” Odin Lowe said. “He’s at his apartment now. Heero is with him.”

“Any way of getting to him?”

“Security is tight, real tight. I didn’t have a chance at the funeral home.”

“But you have been hired to get around it Odin.” Dekim said softly. “I’m sure you’ll be successful. We don’t have much time. They’ll whisk him away and hide him as soon as they can. I can’t tell you how displeased I’d be if that happened after I’ve gone to all this trouble.”

“I’ve bugged the phone. And I’m watching the apartment. We won’t lose him again.”

“I hope not. Every minute he’s alive is a dangerous minute. For you as well as for him.”

There was a silence. “I’ll find a way.”

“I have every confidence.” He hung up the phone. He did have a certain amount of confidence in Odin. He’d found him very efficient if a little lacking in imagination.

Imagination was a great asset in an assassin. Heero had imagination, and it was one of his most valuable qualities.

“It’s a call from Mr. Morrisey on your portable phone.” Mueller was standing in the doorway. “You said you’d take his calls anytime.”

Morrisey. Eagerness shot through Dekim as he reached for the phone. Of course he wanted to talk to him. He’d been waiting on pins and needles for weeks. It had taken Morrisey too long already to locate the right man. “You’ve found him?”

“Trey Catalonia. Twenty-one. A loner. Starstruck. Brags a lot. He’s a minor driver in the demolition derby here. He’s been hanging around the track for the past couple of weeks and bothering the headliners. He came in third and fourth in a couple of minor derbies, but he gambles the prize money away as fast as he gets it. Sound like the man you want?”

Excitement was soaring through Dekim. “Exactly.”

“Do you want me to approach him for you?”

“No, I’ll do it myself.” This part of his plan was too critical to be handled by underlings. Catalonia was to be the key player and must be absolutely right. “Where is he?”

“Here in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Majestic Hotel. A fleabag near the track.”

“Meet me at the airport. I’ll be there tomorrow morning. Mueller will call and let you know the flight number.”

He hung up the phone and leaned back in his chair. The Maxwell boy would soon be dead and the key player had been found.

Things were moving forward very satisfactorily.

***************

Light was streaming through the curtains on the window. I had always loved the misty look they gave off. I’d bought them in Amsterdam. Quatre had laughed and said that he would have never dreamed I liked such a thing, that it didn’t suit my personality at—

Quatre.

Pain tore through me and I closed my eyes tightly blocking out the thought of him.

“Don’t go back to sleep.”

My eyes opened, and I saw Heero sitting beside the bed.

“You’ve been asleep for ten hours,” he said quietly. “You need to eat now.”

I shook my head.

“Yes.” He stood up. “I’ll go fix you some soup and a sandwich.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You have to eat anyway. Go take a shower and dress.” He left the room.

He was back to being cool and decisive, I realized. Yet last night he had held me in his arms for hours and rocked me and agonized with me as if Quatre had been like a brother to him too.

Quatre.

“Get up.” He called from the kitchen.

To hell with him, I didn’t want to get up. I wanted to go back to sleep and forget the sight of Quatre in that coffin.

He returned, lifted me to my feet, and pushed me gently toward the bathroom. “I’ll give you ten minutes. If you’re not out of the shower, I’ll come in and finish the job.”

I wanted to hit him.

“Life goes on, Duo. You don’t heal lying in bed. You heal doing something about it.”

“Stop preaching to me. You don’t know how—”

He was gone.

I slammed the bathroom door and leaned against it. I was crying again. “Dammit.” I whispered. “Damn you, Heero.”

And damn Dekim, who had killed Quatre and had thrown him into a hole in the ground as if he were nothing. Monster. Crawling out from under the rock and tearing, hurting—

“Five minutes, Duo.”

Why wouldn’t he stop nagging me? I thought as I stripped off my clothes. He was just like Quatre and the way—

Was everything going to remind me of Quatre? Heero wasn’t like Quatre. No one was like him.

I turned on the shower and stepped beneath the spray.

Quatre had been bright and loyal and loving. And that monster had killed him. Show them the monsters.

But they knew who the monster was, and Quatre had still died. The monster was walking around, breathing air, eating food, laughing and talking, and Quatre was dead.

And I was standing here weeping and wailing because “we” had done nothing. It was always “we”. We had done nothing at Tenajo. We had done nothing at L2 either.

*I* had done nothing.

Quatre was dead and I was doing nothing.

“Duo?”

Heero was standing outside the shower stall. I could see his frame through the mist on the glass.

“Go away, Heero.”

“Come out, your lunch is ready.”

”Go away.”

“You’ve been in there long enough.” He started to slide the shower door open.

“Get out.” I slammed the shower door shut. “I’ll come out when I’m good and ready. Just leave me alone right now.”

He stood there startled at the fury in my voice.

I was startled too. I hadn’t realized how fast and high my anger had soared. My fists were clenched so hard my fingernails were digging into my palms. Wave after wave of anger and hate washed over me.

Dekim.

“Your robe is on the hook on the door.” The door shut and I was alone.

No, not alone.

The memory of Quatre as I had seen him in the funeral home remained with me. Would I ever see my friend any other way? Would every memory of the past be burned away but that one?

Push it aside… block it. I would only cry again, and that weakened me. I had to think and plan. I couldn’t be weak now. I had to be as strong as Quatre would have been in my place.

Because at last, I’d learned that it did no good to just show the monsters.

You had to kill them.

***************

I didn’t come out of the bathroom for almost an hour. Heero looked up when I came into the kitchen.

“Your soup is cold.” He rose to his feet and picked up the bowl. “I’ll put it in the microwave for a minute.”

“You’re feeding me in the kitchen?” I gave him a ghost of a smile. “Your mother wouldn’t approve.”

“She understood emergencies. Sit down.”

“Okay.” I sat at the table and said haltingly, “I’m sorry… I yelled… at you. You were only doing what you thought best.”

“No problem.”

“And you were very kind to me last night. Arigatou.”

“For Gods sake Duo, I don’t want you to thank me.” His gaze raked my face. “Daijoubu desu ka?”

No, I wasn’t okay. Quatre was dead and Dekim was not. “I’m fine.”

“The hell you are. You’re pale as a sheet and look like you’re holding on by a hair.”

“I’m fine.” I repeated.

“I called Sally this morning. Iris is doing well.”

“Does she know when they’re going to operate?”

“She won’t commit yet.” He set the soup down in front of me. “Sally said she needs to build up more blood.”

Blood Dekim had taken from her.

“Has anyone notified Trowa about Quatre?”

“Not yet. He can’t be reached.”

“I don’t want you to try to find him. I don’t want him to know.”

“Why?”

“He’d try to come down here and it would be dangerous for him. You said he might be a target.”

He nodded. “We’ll continue to keep a watch on the ranger station and their house.”

“I don’t want him to see Quatre… the way I did.” I had to stop a minute to steady my voice. “Trowa wouldn’t believe he’s dead any more than I did. He’d open the casket and see— I can’t let him do that. I want him buried with dignity and respect. I want you to arrange a quiet funeral for tomorrow. When I tell him, I need to be able to show that he’s in a place that—”

“You’re not the next of kin. Trowa Barton has the right to make that decision, Duo.”

“I’m taking the right.” I picked up the spoon. My hand was shaking only a little. “You can fix it. You’re the CIA. If you can forge papers and kill people, you can do this. I won’t let Trowa see Quatre like that. I want him to remember Quatre as he was before Dekim— Do it, Heero.”

He nodded slowly. “I’ll make arrangements. But the burial should be done today. The sooner we get out of here, the better.”

“Tomorrow.” I would be ready tomorrow. I wasn’t strong enough yet. I forced myself to start eating the soup. Eat the soup, the sandwich. Try to sleep tonight. Get strong. “Tomorrow, Heero.”

“I don’t like— Okay.” He sat watching me eat. “But now I have a favor to ask of you. Zechs says he can work with the sample we gave him, but he needs more.”

Blood. I had almost forgotten. I shouldn’t forget. It had to be entered into the equation. “Then take it.”

“I can wait.”

“Take it.”

He got up from the table and disappeared into the living room. He came back with the black leather kit he had used in the parking lot in Atlanta. When the needle entered my arm, I barely felt it. “You’re very good with that.”

“Stay still.” His expression was intent as he drew the blood. “There.” He put the band-aid on my arm. “I’ll be right back. I have to get these tubes packed in ice and ready to go. They need to reach Zechs by tonight. His team is working around the clock.”

“Then there is a hurry. You said you could wait.”

“You were out for a long time.” He smiled crookedly. “And I was trying to be humane. Couldn’t you tell?”

“Hai.” He had been kind. He had held me and tried to keep away the darkness. For a while he had done it, but now it was back and must be dealt with. “I could tell.”

He was gone again, to get the blood ready for the CDC. It didn’t see, tight I was immune to the disease and Quatre had died. Quatre had a family. Did God just randomly choose?

I stood up and moved toward the window overlooking the rooftops and wrought-iron balconies of the French Quarter. I had always loved this city. When Quatre had come down to visit, he had disliked it and tried to convince me to get an apartment in Detroit. New Orleans was too whimsical for the practical Quatre.

“I’ve called Relena and told her to send a courier for this package,” Heero said when he came back into the kitchen. “I’ll answer the door when we hear the bell.”

“Are you afraid someone’s going to show up with a machine gun and blow me away?” I asked wearily.

“No, not a machine gun. There are quieter and more competent ways.” He set the package on the chest by the door. “And I doubt if they’ll come to the front door. They’ll wait until you go out.”

I looked back out the window. “You think they’re still waiting?”

“Yes, I told you they would be. That’s what this is all about.”

I didn’t take my gaze away from the Quarter. “It’s all about the blood, isn’t it? You want the blood and Dekim want me dead before I give you enough to spoil his neat little plan.”

“Hai.”

“How much is enough, Heero?”

“We don’t know.”

“Then I seem to be a very valuable asset.”

Heero was silent watching me.

“Do you think Dekim is here?”

“I doubt it. He wouldn’t risk it. But he’s sent someone.”

“I’m sure that was a disappointment to him. I remember his face in the hospital when he told me Quatre was dead. Why did he lie to me about Quatre being in the morgue?”

“He wanted to hurt you. You might not have believed him if he’d told you he’d buried him in the hills. You’d have thought he got away from him.”

“I did think that when we didn’t find him there. I hoped he had—” Even that hope was painful to remember. “How did Relena know he’d been buried in the hills?”

“Wufei.”

I turned to look at him. “Wufei?”

“I told him to look for a grave.”

I stiffened. “What?”

“I called him back that day on the aircraft carrier and told him to look for a grave.”

“You thought he was dead even then?” I whispered.

“I hoped he wasn’t. I prayed he wasn’t. But I knew there was a good possibility.”

“Why?”

“He wasn’t brought to the hospital with Iris. From what you told me about him, I didn’t think he would allow himself to be separated from the baby.” He paused. “If he was alive.”

I had thought the same thing, but I hadn’t allowed myself to accept it. “There was a chance he was still alive. There was a chance.”

“But a greater one that he was dead.” His lips lifted in a faint smile. “My analytical mind. I had to play the odds. I told Wufei while he was searching to also be on the lookout for a shallow grave.”

“And he found it. When?”

“Three days ago. He spotted a suspect site in the foothills about ten miles from Tenajo. He verified and was on his way back to report to me, when Dekim’s men came and began to exhume.”

“You mean dig him up.” I said bitterly. Exhume. Such a smooth, clean word for such an ugly violation.

He nodded.

“You didn’t tell me. You let me hope.”

“There was a chance I was wrong. And would you have believed me if I’d told you Quatre was probably dead?”

No, I wouldn’t have believed him. I hadn’t let myself believe it until I actually seen Quatre’s body.

Veer away. Don’t think of that moment. Keep controlled and steady. “I’m… tired. I’m going back to my bedroom. Let me know when you’ve made arrangements for Quatre’s funeral.”

“If you feel up to it, you might start packing. We should leave immediately after the funeral.”

I went into my bedroom and shut the door, closing him out. I had started to shake, but I don’t think he noticed. I had shown him too much weakness already and couldn’t afford to have him perceive me as anything but strong and decisive.

I drew a deep, steadying breath. That was better. Just a little more time and I would be fine.

***************

He was so finely balanced, Heero had expected him to shatter at any moment.

It might be better if he had. That careful control could be more dangerous than the wild despair of last night. His manner today was not what he had expected. Heero was usually able to read him, but he hadn’t known what he was thinking today.

That was not going to be problem though. He had an idea that Duo would make his thoughts and needs known soon enough.

***************

Cheyenne, Wyoming